My fears were confirmed today while vacuuming. I found butterfly wings on the floor. I sucked them up and threw them away. Sometimes i feel like that is what has happened to my dreams.
I have meeting scheduled with Greg for wednesday. Hopefully, i will be in a better place after that.
Sharee, thank you for your kind words. It is always a good reminder for me that satan is to blame and not God. Your strength and faith amaze me.
2 comments:
Rian, it breaks my heart to see you in so much pain. I am thankful for Sharee and her encouragement and truth. God loves you more than you can know, and our battle is with the enemy, not God or any person. I love you more than my life and I am praying that the Lord will reveal all truth to you concerning this situation. I also would like to tell you something very important. Loss does not draw us closer to God when we feel like He could have done something, but chose not to. It makes us a victim. God doesn't allow things to happen to us so that we will draw close to Him. He wants our love because we love Him by choice and not because He manipulates us through loss to draw closer to Him. Manipulation is the same as witch craft. It's like us having to choose to be saved. He doesn't choose salvation for us. We have to step out in faith and accept it. You are a daughter of The King. Your name means "Queenly". The devil comes to kill, steal, & destroy. All he has to do is plant a small seed, and if we take hold of it and own it, he has deceived us. The Bible says that God is good and that He is love. There is NOTHING good in a father that would allow bad things to happen to his children. The devil is a liar and that is the truth. God is good and that is the truth. I know you are thinking, "Well, what causes bad things to happen?" I will call you tonight and we can talk about it. Remember, God won't ever say anything to you that will make you feel bad. Take every thought captive and discern who is saying it. Refuse to believe anything that makes you feel anything that isn't good. Rian, you are one of the most loving, nice people I have ever met, and I've been on this planet for a half a century. The Lord is going to restore you spiritually and give you the desires of your heart. He longs for an intimate relationship with you. You desperately need to know who God is and how He feels about you. I will help you to know Him. I love you, my angel, and I want you to know that the torment and the pain are coming to an end. I'll talk to you tonight, Mom.
I need to tell you one more thing. I ask you for your forgiveness because I was one of the people that told you God allowed you to miscarry. That is heresy and a lie. I have also asked God for His forgiveness in this matter. I am so sorry that I contributed to your confusion and pain. I never want to do anything to harm you in any way, and I am sorry that I have hurt you. I love you with all my heart, Mom
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