But of course all that went out the window when Kai was born. The main reason Kai slept with us is because I was so terribly nervous about him dying. I wanted him next to me at all times. It helped that he didn't like to sleep on his back, and I would not let him sleep on his own on his side, so he had to be with us. There did come the time that he got bigger and Josh and I were annoyed by his constant moving and kicking. So we took the front off of his crib and moved it right next to the bed. This worked out great. He was still close to me but he wasn't in our space.
When we moved in with Josh's parents, into a 10x10 bedroom, we put Kai in his crib, with the front on. He was only about a foot from me. This also worked well. It seems Kai doesn't really need to be in bed with us, he just likes to be close to us.
When we moved into the apartment Josh and I were both excited that he would have his own room. The plan was to slowly transition him to his room. We put his crib in his room but put the mattress on the floor next to our bed. Well it's been a little over a month and Kai is still in our room...and it's my fault. I'm not sure I am ready to put him in his own room. I like being able to look at him and make sure he is ok. To put my hand on his back to make sure he is still breathing (yes I still do this even though he is almost 2, I'm crazy). I don't know if I can live without the peace of mind I get from him being right next to me.
I do realize that he has to eventually go to his own room. I know he can't sleep with us when he is 14!! But he's only 2, I think it is ok for now. Hopefully I can get my husband to accept it, he's pretty good about going along with all my craziness.
2 comments:
Remember, we always have great plans BEFORE we have kids! Then most of them go out the window for one reason or another.
BTW, is he inside the bedroom or outside the bedroom in the pic? Looks like you locked him out. :)
Fiiiiiirst of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him sleeping in your room for as long as the three of you are cool w/it. Do your thang, mama;)
I do feel the need to speak to your fear, though. I had such terrible, terrible bouts with fear for my first couple of parenting years.
I'm not going to pretend that I never struggle anymore, but I don't stand for it anymore. And every time a thought creeps in, I practice saying, "I resist and rebuke the spirit of fear...in the name of Jesus Christ." And then I claim whatever it is that my family needs.
Hopefully that is helpful. I just felt compelled to tell you that tonight.
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