why do I do this...

Well it seems as though my blog is readerless.  This was to be expected...I guess.  There are few reasons I can come up with why this has happened.

1. I don't blog nearly as much since I have had kai.
2. I have had a living child so some people prolly stopped reading (it's ok, I did it too)
3. My life is pretty boring most of the time!
4. My life is kinda depressing a lot of the time!

 I assume that one of those reasons is why you are no longer reading my blog.  So really the million dollar question is "why do I blog in the first place"?  I have been thinking about this for a couple days, wanted the find the REAL reason.  Here is a list of things that could be the reason.

1. I need to be validated by someone
2. I need to get my feelings out so I don't hurt someone
3. It is therapuetic for me
4. I hope to help someone else who may be going through what I went through/am going through.
5. I just like to hear myself talk.
6. I really need to be validated by someone!!

The answer is yes to all except #5!!!  All of those are reasons why I come here and do this.  I would say that numbers 3 and 4 are the biggest. 

I would also say that I am working on numbers 1 and 6.  I recently realized I had this desire for people to validate my feelings.  But it usually doesn't happen, and I really shouldn't need it anyways.  I mean not to the degree I feel I need it.  I have really been trying to focus on God and realizing that He is the one who needs to validate me.  If no one ever reads this blog again, I need to be ok with that...it's still a work in progress

So I guess what I am saying is that I will continue to come here when I feel I need too and I will continue to post all the goings on in my life.  I'm sure most of the time it will be pretty boring, but I need to do it and that's really all that matters.  So read if you want and comment if you feel led.  But I'm ok if you don't!!

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Quickie Maverick Update
He is HOME!!!!!  He spent 42 days in the hospital going from stable to critical to stable to healthy enough to go home.  He is still on a feeding tube at night and still has his port in.  His parents have to give him medicine daily.  He has also done another chemo treatment.  He is still fighting for his life, the cancer is not gone.  But he is making so many steps in the right direction!!!!!