Have any of you ever been to a real life support group? Well, last night josh and i went to one. This was a first in our almost 3 years of IF and recurrent m/c. I have an online forum I am a member of and of course all the wonderful ladies in the blogosphere. But this was the first time I had met people face to face who are where I am.
The group I went to was called MEND. Most of the families suffered from stillbirth, most were full term and most were cord accidents. So that gives me something else to worry about if I ever get to that stage of pg. Anywho, there were a few other women there who had suffered m/c. It was just nice to know I wasn't alone and that I can know people who have been there. They only meet once a month for this meeting. They also have an IF meeting once a month too. But I won't be able to attended that this month, josh has a work thing we have to go to. I liked that the meetings were for moms and dads. Josh was a great support.
On October 6th they are having a Walk to Remember. Has anyone done this before? It's interesting because the book I just read by Ayelet Waldman Love and other impossible pursuits, talked about one of these walks. Apparently it is a common loss thing. It happens all over the country during the month of October. Which happens to be Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month. I have mixed feelings about the walk. My main problem is when they call out the names of the babies. I haven't named any of mine. Does that make me a bad mother? Josh and I just never gave them cute little nick names, and I don't know the sex of any of them so we didn't give them real names. I would hate for them to call out Moody baby 1-4. So I think that part would be awkward. I do like the idea of them having a memorial table. I can take my two scrapbooks I made and my sono pic from the thrid pg. It will be nice to share those since only josh and one friend have seen them.
3 comments:
Rian, Thank you for your nice comments. I applaud you and Josh for coming last night and hope that continue to come. I too have PCOS and well - you know how that goes. I would love to get together to chat, have dinner, lunch or whatever. I love sharing my story for I always pray that it will provider some ounce of hope to someone else. You are NOT terrible parents for not naming your 4 precious angels and don't worry about what anyone might say or think...the walk is for you both to help you!! I hope you consider coming and showing off that great scrapbook (I so want to get mine done before the walk). My prayers are with you. Eli is our first miracle after being diagnosed with PCOS and AJ is our second...I just can't hold him every day...for that I have to wait. My best piece of advice is "let go and let God." He knows what He is doing. Peace and blessings to you both. Please call or email any time.
I think it is so great you have found support IRL. I have been looking for an IF support group close to me but I have yet to be successful. I really hope it helps you to grieve and move forward in a healthy way.
As far as the walk goes, I have never been to one, but I would if there were one nearby. You are not terrible for having no nicknames for your baby. Everyone is different in how they grieve and choose to remember their babies. The important thing is whether or not you feel the walk would help YOU to commemorate them.
XOXO
i've been to some in-person support groups, and i have to say that it's incredibly healing to know that you are not alone and to have a real person to talk to about it right then while they're sitting next to you. the walk sounds theraputic on many levels. if there was a walk like this in my area, i think i would participate.
you left me such a nice message on my blog, and i didn't know about it until today. thank you.
i've read a little of your story, and i'm so sorry that you are having to deal with PCOS and multiple m/c. that is just HARD. i hope that you are able to find support that brings you peace and helps you move forward in whatever way works best for you and your DH.
wishing you the best,
-lori
Post a Comment