So my dad said yes about the money. But i don't know when he will give it to us. So the waiting continues. I am hoping and praying for follow through on his end.
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Since I don't know when we will get the money I am not currently doing anything IF wise. Which makes me feel hopeless. It's awful but I really don't believe I can get pg without medical intervention. I thought about going on bcp so that my cycles won't be totally out of control. But josh didn't want to. Because of that 1 in a million chance that we could conceive on our own. Wouldn't that be wonderful if it did happen? But im not holding my breath.
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My diet is going well. I have currently lost 8 pounds. Woohoo!!! Go me!! Anyways, i still need to go to the gym. Changing my eating is only gonna get me so far. The only good thing about not cycling is that I can spend more time on losing the weight and not thinking I'm just gonna get pg so why work on it. The one habit I can't change is Coke. I have to have at least 1 a day (don't ask how many ounces that one is)!!!!
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I'm not faithful with taking my prenatals. It is something I really need to work on. The morning I found out my 2nd pg was over I had taken my prenatals that morning and hadn't eaten. My stomach was upset for the rest of the day. For some reason now I associate taking them with loss. and after each loss it gets harder and harder to take them. It amazes me that I will spend 1000's of dollars to try and have a baby, but the little things I should be doing are hard for me.
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These last couple of days have been really hard for me. It seems pg and babies are every where and it just makes me sad. I feel so hopeless. That I have been doing this for almost three years and am no closer to having a baby. The next three months, each with their own edd, are gonna be torture. I think they will be even worse since I'm not doing anything to make my dream come true. I am just so ready to be on the other side of this journey.
4 comments:
I just wanted to stop by and say thank you for the kind comments you posted for me today.
Good luck with everything!
Kudos to you on the weight loss! That is awesome. Keep up with the good work. I am trying to shed some pounds myself so I can look to you to keep me motivated :)
I'm glad your dad decided to help. That is great to have that kind of support. I'm sorry you feel hopeless about everything. I know how you feel. After having repeated losses, it is hard to ever imagine that you'll be that one in a million chance. It might be possible but at the same time, it is hard for me to put all my eggs in one basket. I have to come up with a Plan B. It is my anal type A side coming out.
Don't blame yourself for the prenatals. I'm not good with taking them either. As a matter of fact, I haven't taken any all month. How terrible is that?
I am thinking of you always. XOXO
I'm so glad to hear that your dad is going to give y'all money to help with your fertility treatments! And CONGRATS on losing the 8 poinds!!! That's GREAT!!!! Keep up the good work!!!!!
Hey, I just found you via a comment you left me on my blog. Thank you so much for the nice message...I need to add you to my blogroll.
Now I must get preachy with you...=-)
Please, please, please take your prenatals! One of the worries that nags at my mind is if the anencephaly could have been prevented if I had taken my prenatal vitamins sooner. A lack of folic acid can cause neural tube defects, such as anencephaly and spina bifida, and all women need to consume at least 400 micrograms of folic acid a day to help prevent NTDs. Prenates have double that dose...
So take those prenates, please.=-)
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