When I first saw that I had a comment from anounymous I cringed. I know too many bloggers out there who have had exrememly rude, condescending comments on their blogs. But I do have to say that this anon commenter was very nice in saying what she needed to say. But I will be honest and tell you that I still dislike anon comments. If you have something to say to someone, and you think it is important, why do you hide behind anonymous?
And thank you so much Beth for trying to clarify things!!
Here is what I have to say to the anon commentor. I really do appreciate your comment. I think you were very nice and sweet in expressing your opinion and for that I thank you. I do believe that you took what I said about drug addicts incorrect. It breaks my heart daily that I have no children and may never. It also breaks my heart to see women who abuse their body in a variety of ways so easily concieve, while I must spend years and money to do so. I respect each and every mother who puts her child up for adoption instead of choosing to abort. I am sure that is a gut wrenching decision.
I do not agree however that adoption should be so expensive and seemingly out of reach for so many couples. The logical thought would be that if a couple wants to adopt and thus put themselves through an emotional and physchological rollercoaster, they must really want a child. My concern is how many children already go unadopted and live life in foster homes, many of which are not loving, caring environments.
I tried to find some stats on what precentage of children are not adopted but didn't have much luck. I did find this website that gives stats about children in foster care. It says that on September 30, 2005, 513,000 children were living in foster care. That number is astonishing to me. I know that some of those eventually returned to their parents or live with family members, but many will stay until they turn 18. It seems to me that if adoption were more affordable maybe more couples would adopt and these children would have loving homes.
I personally would love to have a lot of kids, 4-6.(Josh may be having a heart attack right now!!) But with my currently IF situation that won't be happening biologically. I am open to adopting 1 or even more children. But that is not a reality for us. We cannot afford even one and that breaks my heart to know that children may have to spend their days in foster care because for some reason adoption has to be so expensive.
4 comments:
Very well put.
I agree about anonymous comments. Own them.
I didn't realize there were so many foster children...amazing.
You assume that cost is the roadblock to adopting these children. The fact is that many (if not most) of them have "characteristics" that make them less likely to be attractive as adopted children...disabilities, family history of mental illness or drug addiction, age. Sadly, people still want to adopt the "perfect baby" from foster care and aren't interested in "taking on other peoples' problems." (These are things I heard personally while working in the abuse/neglect/dependency arm of juvenile court.)
I don't mind anon comments except when people use them as an excuse to write really rude things they'd NEVER say if we knew who they were!
Having said that ... sometimes I am SO tempted to comment anonymously simply because I know my point of view may be unpopular, then all the blog owner's friends will go to my site to read all about the little "witch" who wrote such-and-such on so-and-so's blog (deep breath!)!
Having said THAT ... I must say this: R ... it pains me to see you so broken, so convinced that you are powerless over your situation. I don't know what kind of teaching you've received in your Christian walk. I'm not trying to refute or question it. I am here to tell you - boldly - that you MUST continue to stand. When the doctor diagnosed you with that condition ... stand. after your third or fourth miscarriage ... stand. when you look at your budget, then your dwindling bank account .... stand. You have got to stand on the Word of God. That means ... you trust God to make a way in the supernatural when it seems there is no way in the natural. Isn't that the essence of faith? It is a substance - a literal thing - that we cannot see, yet we still hope in it! (Heb. 11:1) You cannot see how you will have biological children ... you cannot see how you can afford adoption or the other options ...but you have to cling to hope - even though you haven't figured out the "how" or "when". That's God's business and we have to trust Him to handle it!
This is why we - as followers of Christ - have to be childlike in our faith. Think about a young child's ability to have faith in the unseen. It is worthy of emulating!
If I were near you, I'd grab you by the hand and pray until we cried. I'd build you up in your faith (because it has faltered, my friend ... ) and we'd seek God until we heard from Him. I would pray that unbelieving spirit ... that doubting heart ... that broken self - right out of you. The enemy is happy with you right now ... because if you were to get on fire and grow adamant about getting the victory over this situation ... you would then run through the streets (babe in arms) telling everybody what God has done for you ... your testimony would win so many souls to God's kingdom.
I spoke boldly just then. I feel in my spirit that you need the truth ... you need a word that will change your situation. An "affirmation" just won't provide the “fire” you need to ignite you or the miracle your soul longs for. I continue to cry out on your behalf ...I hope you will believe that I am speaking in love. Just one sister to another.
Sharee
Owning it...right now.
I'm the the anonymous commentor. Why I hit that button instead of the Google/Blogger one, I don't really know. Am I ashamed of my feelings, not at all. Did I want to start a riot, nope. I think you understood where I was coming from and I understand you better now, too. I am glad you didn't see me as some crazy ranting commenter, because that was not my intentions....I just was using some free speech, if you will.. :)
My feelings are probably unpopular, but I'm never one to back down from my beliefs, so it is what it is. I have been blessed, many times over, and extend those blessing and heartfelt feelings to you and wish you only the best in life. I have followed your story for sometime now and invite you to follow my adventure, too. I wish I knew what to say - I don't know why any of these bad things happen to good people...it just doesn't make sense. I have had to watch two dear friends and my sister in law all lose their babies either in delivery or well into their pregnancies this year...all the while I sat there and held my new baby boy. I don't know who to talk to about that...new mom's with healthy babies say "well, just enjoy your little one and be glad it wasn't you" while the ones that lost are in pain and devestated beyond belief. Quite the conundrum, really.
I hate that these things happen and am striving to figure out what the message is from God...but I am doing my best to remember those lost and to celebrate their lives-however short.
This Bible verse is quite cliche, but one that I always fall back on because it's my favorite. 1 Corinthians - And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Thank God, for there is always Love. :)
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