HCG went to 205, which is double plus one. That is a doubling time of 48 hours which is good. I guess i just hoped it would do more than double. But I'm content that it is going up as it should. I really don't think I will be able to completely let down my guard until 12wks. That is my milestone. I have never made it that far. Seeing a heartbeat is going to be wonderful. But I know that an HB doesn't mean baby is ok. I would have seen an HB with my first loss if I had gone to the dr sooner.
Speaking of HB. The first sono is 3/11. Which I equate as an eternity from now. I have had 2 first sonos and both have been horrible, and heart wrenching. So I am a little leary of this step. I want so bad to see that HB, it will be one of the best moments of my life. I just have a fear that the past will repeat itself.
I really hate being so worried and stressed out about this pregnancy. I just wish I could enjoy it, and I am trying my hardest to. I was doing really well until today when they called with the new numbers. I guess I was hoping for more than 205 and now that I have a sono scheduled it means this is really happening. I am really pregnant and there is a possibility that this will turn out as all the others have. But, it could also turn out completely different which is what my heart is trying to focus on.
9 comments:
I'm praying sweet friend!
We've got your back! It's scary during every pregnancy even if you've not had the bumpy road that y'all have traveled. Just take each day as they come and treat each one as a blessing!! Rooting you on every step of the way!
XOXO
Maybe not exactly what you hoped for, but it sounds like your news is still good. I am praying hard that this is it for you.
I'm praying for you too!!!
Oh Rian, I hear you. I feel like I have become a complete nervous wreck. I guess it never really gets easier. We struggle so long to get to this point and then when we get here, we can't relax. Hoping all is well with you.
Double is all you need! Glad to see it happen! Prayers prayers and more prayers!
I am thinking good thoughts for you. I understand completely about the whole not wanting to let your guard down. Have had a bad first u/s it weighs on me heavily as I prepare for my first IVF cycle. I hope you will let the rest of us think plenty of good thoughts for you, even when you are scared to do so yourself.
Congratulations, sounding good there!
OMG! I'm ecstatic right now!! Sorry, I just can't be cautiously optimistic for ya, sis. Consider it a shortcoming of mine!
Haven't stopped praying for you either.
I love your attitude about seizing the day ... enjoying every moment ...THAT is the way to do this thing!
Just remember: In ALL things, praise ye the Lord!
Hugs!
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